Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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