Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
