I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
