I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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