Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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