I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
