D3 body, D1 cock
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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