So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
