forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
wow bdsm is so cute
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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