Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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