btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Two words: blizzard sex
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
