i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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