Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize