omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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