To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
