I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
