i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
