just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
