why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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