Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
love makes seman taste better
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
