Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
