please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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