Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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