I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
