The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
