dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
