this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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