im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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