Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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