i jhust puked up my retainher.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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