Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
