One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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