Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
