If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
