It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
