I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
