he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
