So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
