Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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