So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Dignity is for republicans.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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