babies were throwing up all over the place
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I need to calm my uterus...
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
