god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
