Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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