There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
