can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I skipped work to stalk him.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
