so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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