Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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