If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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