arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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