I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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