Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
