party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
as a side note pls kill me
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
