it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
