Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
jump out the window naked night went bad
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
