By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
